Voideo 1 – GUSTAF vs Michelangelo
Meet Gustaf, Satan’s gift to filmmaking. If you took all the worst qualities of every film director and stapled them together to form a Frankenstein’s-monster-esque amalgamation, Gustaf would come along and tell you to do it all over again because it wasn’t good enough.
Voideo 2 – LU on auditioning
Acting auditions. They’re palm-sweating, knee-wobbling, lower-intestine-peristalsis-inducing experiences, aren’t they? Not to worry! Lu is a professional thespian and she’s here to teach you how to burn yourself into the director’s mind without the help of a soldering iron.
Voideo 3 – WILTON in Stockholm
Wilton was the kind of kid that even the bullied kids bullied, after which he thanked them profusely and paid them for their time. But those days are all behind him. It’s the days in front of him he should be worried about, because Gustaf was the kind of kid who bullied the bullies, and those days are here to stay.
Voideo 4 – FEX disappears
Ever yearned to know how Visual Effects are done? No? Well then this won’t interest you: Fex, The Void’s resident pixel-Picasso, minus the talent, has taken some time out of his lethargic schedule to show you how to spice up your VFX-life with some hot tricks guaranteed to drive him/her* WILD!
Voideo 5 – MILLY does Darth Vader
Most people lose their innocence at around age ten, either by lying, stealing or coveting. Not Milly though – The Void’s highly repressed audiophile. She’s so pure she bleeds Alaskan spring water. But that won’t stop her doing a mean impression of Darth Vader.
(mean = average in this context)
Voideo 6 – ED’s focus
Like film itself, Ed, the Void’s go-to-out-of-desperation cameraman/grip, has often been described as “negative”. Some people in this world simply don’t give a damn. Ed would be one of those people but he just doesn’t have the energy.
Voideo 7 – WILTON the poet
History has given us many great poets: T. S. Eliot, Emily Dickinson, Ke$ha…
Well here’s a new name to add to your list of people who should sooner be hanged than permitted to write poetry: Wilton.
Paradise Lost? No – Damnation Earned.
Voideo 8 – FEX gets wired
Superman.. Peter Pan… Neo… The Luck Dragon… Those freaky monkeys from the Wizard of Oz…
They all have one thing in common: the letter “n”. But they also all fly, which as fate would have it is a cinematic illusion brushed upon and fondled inappropriately in this latest Voideo from the master of wasting time, Fex.
Voideo 9 – MILLY’s creatures
Where would King Kong be without his fearsome roar? Presumably getting his butt whipped on Skull Island by a posse of T-rexes, unable to object. That’s why it’s the job of a sound designer to give a voice to these monsters and defend their rights in the People’s Court, although the latter rarely transpires. Hey is that a video?
Voideo 10 – ED vs 3D
In this Voideo, we ask Ed some of life’s biggest questions and he gives us some of history’s worst answers. Still, it’s sure to be ED-ucational!
*scream of a man being disemboweled*
Voideo 11 – GUSTAF on scriptwriting
So you fancy yourself a screenwriter? Well I don’t blame you – they’re delicious. And what better an apéritif to go with your squishy, bespectacled meal than this short Voideo from Gustaf, waxing lyrical and waning likeable about his experiences crafting the greatest literary work of the modern age, in his humble opinion.
Voideo 12 – ED on relationships
If love is a battlefield, then Ed is a land mine. Sure, it’s fun to fly through the air, but when you’re doing it in several different pieces and your butt’s exploding through your face, you have to ask yourself, was it really worth it?
Speaking of heinous metaphors, here’s Ed:
Voideo 13 – MILLY on relationships
Are you sick of reading about people’s failed relationships on facebook? Well so are we. That’s why we’ve put ours in video form – no reading required!
They say opposites attract, and by “they”, I mean Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. Well they don’t come more opposite than Ed and Milly. Except perhaps for Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. Unless Paula’s a werecat. Must investigate further. Until then, beware the moon and 80’s dance-pop.
Voideo 14 – LU warms her vocals
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the voice is the squeak of the hinge of the dog flap to the brain. And just as we aim to keep our eye windows clear, so too must we oil that hinge, to allow dogs to not be scared when they come into our brains. This metaphor is collapsing. Perhaps Lu can explain it more sanely.
Voideo 15 – FEX turns green
If there’s one colour that’s more associated with visual effects than any other, it would have to be green. Why, you say? Well isn’t it obvious, I say? Well you don’t have to be a dick about it, you say. I’m not being a dick – you’re being a dick, I say. You start to cry. I hate it when we argue. Can I buy you a necklace?
Voideo 16 – GUSTAF vs Leonardo (DiCaprio)
O what’s in a name actor’s name? Up to 20 million dollars, these days. But that won’t stop delusional indie filmmakers from dreaming about rubbing shoulders with the bigwigs. And rubbing wigs with the bigshoulders, a procedure known as static-electro-wig-friction-therapy. Case closed.
Voideo 17 – MILLY vs Beethoven
Beethoven. Brahms. Bach. Bõt. The greatest composers of all time live on through their music and their popular surnames. But isn’t it high time we found ourselves a new Beethoven? Because the dead one has been refusing to perform for centuries.
Voideo 18 – FEX fights zits
It’s a well-worn saying that “beauty is only skin-deep”. Don’t believe it? There’s a simple way to prove it to yourself: walk up to the next person you find yourself physically attracted to and peel all the flesh from their body. Still want to ask them out? I didn’t think so. Caution: you may be arrested for first-degree murder.
Voideo 19 – LU vs Stanislavski
Ah, acting. That noblest of pursuits, if you discount every other profession. ‘Tis the quest for truth in a performance that drives an actor, and there are many methods to achieve it, mostly involving drugs. Here’s Lu with the latest, though not necessarily the greatest.
Voideo 20 – GUSTAF is a great director
“There’s no better feeling than putting your rock-solid direction into a young actor’s head and watching them take it.”
– Gustaf Buganski, film director
(August 2nd, 2010 – while on trial for sexual misconduct)
Voideo 21 – WILTON the medium
Are you interested in psychic powers? I had a “feeling” you would be. Unfortunately this video doesn’t have much to say on the subject. Or DOES it? Mayhaps there’s MORE to see than there APPEARS to be…
[Disclaimer: there is nothing more to see than what is shown in the video]
Voideo 22 – LU on boobs
Knockers, jugs, melons, hooters, norks, baps, gazongas, chesticles, milk balloons… Sorry I got distracted there – what was I doing? Oh yes! A blurb for this tasteful video discussing female nudity in film. Tits.
Voideo 23 – WILTON’S top five
You may think that Gustaf Buganski is the embodiment of all things wicked… and you’d be right. But perhaps there’s more to this man than meets the eye? It’s time for Wilton, the ultimate Gustaphile, to chip away the crusts of cruelty and corruption to reveal the sweet, sensitive jelly at the heart of this human turd.
Voideo 24 – ED vs Darius Khondji
They say a Director of Photography is a person who “paints with light”. By the same token, a Director of Music is a person who “sculpts with melodies”; and a Director of Painting is someone who “photographs with physical, semi-liquid colours”. When their powers combine they summon film’s greatest champion… CAPTAIN DREKTORR!
Warning: text is funnier than video – proceed accordingly.
Voideo 25 – GUSTAF sees the future
The hardest part about filmmaking is getting your film “out there”. Because as we all know, films tend to be very introverted and keep mostly to themselves, shying away from social interaction. Hiring a prostitute usually helps.
Voideo 26 – MILLLY vs Wilhelm
Have you ever been watching a film, heard a sound effect and said to yourself, “hey, that sounds familiar?” If the answer is yes then you have already won a trip for three to Whiskey Dick Mountain! To claim your prize, simply watch the video and tell us in 25 words or less why you’re even bothering to read this!
Voideo 27 – FEX previzzes
Visual effects require a lot of planning. But what if you have a whole SEQUENCE of effects? That’s gonna require HEAPS of planning! Well it was hardly likely to require LESS planning. Clearly, the required planning is directly proportional to the quantity of visual effects. Did that really require an explanation? Get out of my classroom! I heard that, Lachlan – you too. The rest of you, turn to chapter 8.
Voideo 28 – WILTON’s only fear
By reading the title of this video, you would assume that Wilton has only one fear. But this does not take into account Wilton’s paralysing fear of spiders, confined spaces, inclement weather, crayons, peanut butter, denim, torture, long sentences… the list goes on. Conclusion? The title of the video makes no sense. But in today’s illiterate world, what do sense makes?
Voideo 29 – ED does a Blade Runner
What do you do when you completely run out of ideas for Voideos? Rip off Blade Runner of course! In this week’s penultimate Voideo, Ed gets Philip K. Dicked around with a slew of Deckardent questions, culminating in a very Voight-Kampff performance. What’ll they think of Nexus???
Voideo 30 – LU vs agents
It’s the LAST Voideo, so wipe that tear of joy from your eye, crack open a bottle of cyanide and settle in for a constructive analysis of the hardest-working people in showbusiness: acting agents!
First Upload Date: August 26, 2013.
Duration: 30 x 1-2mins
“The Voideos” are 30 character pieces created to commiserate the uploading of The Void: Season One to YouTube. The Voideos were filmed over eight separate days from the 29th of July to the 18th of August 2013 and feature all six of The Void’s primary characters – Lu, Fex, Wilton, Milly, Ed and Gustaf. (It would have been six days of filming, but Fex’s Voideos were spread over three days, due to their complexity. Disgraceful.)
It had been two years since the filming of The Void: Season One, yet all the original actors were happy to come in for a day’s filming and reprise their characters. Awwwwwwwwwwww. We are the world.